In the 90s I wrote for important people. I wrote their speeches, and presentations for their projects. My clients included past presidents of the United States, cabinet officials, CEOs of fortune 500 companies, movie stars and TV stars.
In the 2000s I changed careers and became a cop. I interviewed important people in that career too. They didn’t feel important. They felt violated, or trapped, afraid, or helpless. They were important to me. Maybe I could do something for them. Even when someone they knew had been killed, or when they had killed someone, for love or money, I thought maybe I could help bring some justice to the world.
So, I paid attention to them. I listened to what they had to say.
Through all those years I trained in martial arts, and I ran a dojo. So, I will tell you something that I learned by talking to people. It will be useful to you. To your training, to your self-defense. I believe it is something you might never know, until it was too late.
When I interviewed victims of violent crimes – assaults, robberies, sex crimes – I would ask about the moments leading up to the attack. Where they were. What they heard. What they saw. Who else was there. What they did. What went through their mind.
One of the things many of them said, as they began to recall the traumatic event, when I asked them about what went through their mind at the time, was “All I could think was I can’t believe this is happening.” Or “I wish I was not here.”
Not all, but many, froze under the pressure. You can’t blame them. It was a new situation for them. They had no experience that prepared them for that moment.
They didn’t know what to do.
I noticed when I interviewed the attackers, often they would start with the location too: “I wasn’t there.” Or they would finesse a detail of the story: “That wasn’t me.”
Those false statements didn’t work when the video, forensics or other evidence showed it really was them.
False inner statements – wishful thinking in the heat of the moment – didn’t work for the victim either. They were there. It was happening
A cruel stranger invading their space, handling their body, hurting them, degrading them, taking their stuff, was something from the movies, not life. And in the movies, it didn’t go like this.
They reacted with denial, delay and despair. We can’t blame them. We cannot imitate them either.
Whatever your level of experience in martial arts, you have had the experience of people in your personal space.
People throwing punches, kicks and elbows. People grabbing you. Forcefully trying to control you. Under pressure, you are not invulnerable. But you are on familiar ground.
You practice responding, not freezing. You practice presence of mind, not “wishing you were somewhere else.” You get used to making decisions about how to engage. If you are in it, you are accustomed to taking the initiative, dominating, persisting and prevailing. You get used to the stress. You know conflict, resolution, and peace.
That experience is present in the way you look – your face, your posture, your walk, your spirit. It is detectable by predators, who may decide to look elsewhere for easy prey. It is detectable by allies, and by people who need you. Maybe they sense you are someone they can depend on.
There are important people in the world all around us. The big shots can take care of themselves. The rest of the world needs you.
Thanks for your hard training tonight.
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Post copyright © 2024 Jeffrey Brooks
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“One of the best books I’ve read in years, inviting and compelling. Jeff Brooks moves effortlessly from martial arts to Buddhism to consciousness studies, self-transformation, and related fields in this wide-ranging and Illuminating study that has much to offer both novice explorers and veteran practitioners. A splendid achievement.”
— Philip Zaleski, Editor, The Best Spiritual Writing series
True Karate Dō is available on Amazon in paperback, hardcover and Kindle Edition